Anomaly (An Absurd Challenge)
by EmpressGalaxia
Summary: Bunnyman issued the challenge, and I have only begun to answer it. 9 requirements will be fulfilled when I'm done with this. But for now, let's just say Tenchi and the gang go to Vegas. >^..^
1. The Challenge

On June 12, 2001, at 10:40 a.m., PST, the Challenge of a Lifetime was issued.

Bunnyman: I double-dare someone to make a fic with the following aspects!

1. Funaho and Lady Misaki are lesbos!

2. Ryo-ohki falls in love with a bush!

3. Tenchi and Washuu get married, but...Washuu is stuck in her little kid form!!!...What well people think?...

4. Ryoko decides to ...::gasp:: stop drinking?!...

5. (See number four) she also decides to ::double gasp:: stop spending money?!

6. Sasami turns evil?...(You can guess where this goes...)

7. Tenchi decides he wants to have an affair against his 'wife' but...with who?...

8. Ayeka turns into the split image of Ryoko!

And finnaly!!

9. IT MUST HAVE A PLOT!

Hahahaha!! I bet NO ONE can do it!

Space Pirate Minagi: I would be sincerely frightened by anybody who COULD do that.

Really.

And so, being one always up for a challenge, and always loving to frighten people, I accept the challenge.

This story is set in the OVA continuity, a few years after Manatsu no Eve. It will hopefully be short, but knowing myself (and I do), it will be a twelve-chapter epic. Anything I don't know, I will make up. "Noodles" is property of UnholyDragoon, which he says is property of Literary Eagle. But I don't know Literary Eagle, so it's property of Unholy Dragoon. Allegro con brio, Kerschel listing 16.

^..^


	2. Chapter One

****

Anomaly

A Fanfic by EmpressGalaxia

::flips through bank statements:: Hmm, I own a Visa, a library card, a Sailor Moon poster print, too much manga, and Celtic necklace. Sorry, no Tenchi ownership.

__

The challenge pretty much sums it up. Read on, and in later chapters, it should get better. Yes, even I hope that this gets better.

Funaho squeezed her eyes shut, holding the pillow around her ears. Azusa was in a right mood tonight. This was damned, that was damned, it was all damned. The treaty hadn't gone through all because of Yosho's grandson bewitching his little girl, Aeka. Why couldn't she have just returned to Jurai to get married? Why would she want to stay on that backwards planet?

She knew she would face the brunt of this. Funaho was strong. Funaho was smart.

Funaho was forbidden.

So that they could be married, Azusa had bent Juraian laws quite a bit. He always chose to throw that in her face during a fight. He had changed so much for her; couldn't she keep her damned son under control?

_He's your son, too, you maniac. Fortunately, he never grew to be just like you._

The door to her room creaked open.

"Misaki, is that you?"

A small sniffle was the reply.

Funaho forgot the noises outside of her room and sat up in bed. "Come here. Did he hurt you?"

Misaki shook her head. "Just the usual."

Funaho's eyes threatened to tear up. "Don't call it that. He has no right to hurt anyone."

"Of course he does, he's the King."

"That doesn't matter. He's abusing his power if he claims that. Now come here."

Misaki stepped into the light streaming in through Funaho's window. Her nightgown was in disarray, her hair was knotted, and she saw the growing bruise on her collarbone. 

The elder of the women sighed. Misaki could be so strong, except in matters of the heart. Azusa could be kind and loving, but more often than not, he was a cold, cruel ruler. Funaho had learned long ago how to stand up to him so that he wouldn't hurt her.

Lady Misaki had not. She was traditional, and believed that the wedding vows she had taken were vows of eternal bondage; she was given to her husband, mind, body, and soul. Anything Azusa gave her, she deserved, whether it was a marble statue in her likeness, or a slap to the cheek.

Misaki sat next to the woman she called "sister," and Funaho affectionately petted her hair. "Do you want to sleep in my bed?" she whispered. 

Misaki nodded, sniffling again.

"Okay," Funaho replied, pulling back the sheets and grabbing an extra pillow. As they both settled into her soft mattress, Funaho pulled her friend into her arms and held her. "We really should leave him, you know," she said after a long silence.

Misaki shook her head. "We each promised to stay by him in sickness and in health, till death do us part. Besides, I know I'll be fine against him as long as my sister's around," she added with a smile.

They fell asleep, Funaho embracing the younger woman, to protect her from that demon they called King.

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Tenchi was wandering through the halls of school. He couldn't remember where his class was, he just knew he was late. Biology, was that it? He barged into the classroom to hear every pupil laugh at him. 

"And here we have someone who apparently would like to lead the anatomy lesson," the teacher said, pointing at him.

Tenchi looked down to discover he was naked.

Brown eyes snapped open. Their owner reached down and felt bedcovers surrounding him. "Whew, just a dream." Tenchi rolled over onto his side and tried to go back to sleep when a thought struck him. _Hey, it's my birthday today!_

"Hey, it's your birthday today, you know!" His eyes snapped open for the second time that morning to see Ryoko in bed with him. She wiggled her eyebrows lasciviously. "How about I give you a present?"

"Ryoko!" He sat up, pulling the covers off of both of them. When he saw that she was the one in her birthday suit, his nose began to bleed. Tenchi covered his eyes and pointed towards the door. "Out. Now."

"Oh, come on, Tenchi. Today you're legally a man;" she whispered to his ear, "how about I officially make you one?"

"Ryoko. Out. Now."

She growled. "Now you're an adult, and you'll be no fun anymore."

The hand was removed from his eyes when he heard her disappear. "I never had that type of fun with you before I turned 21, I'll have you know," he muttered. 

After a quick morning shower, he came down the stairs, bracing himself for whatever birthday party that could be concocted by two alien princesses, a demon, a genius, two Galaxy Police officers, his father and grandfather, and his four-year-old daughter. What he found was something he had never begun to expect.

They were sitting at the breakfast table together. Peacefully. The only acknowledgement that it was his birthday was a card drenched in glue that Mayuka brought to him upon his entrance. He scooped up his daughter and kissed her on the head. "Thank you, Noodles. Daddy loves it!"

"Yes, Lord Tenchi, happy birthday!" Aeka told him, handing him a small, carefully wrapped gift. "I hope you like it."

He opened the package to find a small ring holding a luminescent stone. "Uh, it's beautiful, but...what is it?"

Aeka blushed. "Well, I was supposed to give it to my husband one day, but I would like you to have it."

Tenchi also blushed. "Thank you very much, Miss Aeka. This doesn't legally bind me to a marriage with you, does it?"

She looked away. "Only if you put it on," she muttered. He nodded and closed the box.

Sasami came out of the kitchen carrying a large tray of food. She had grown considerably in the past five years, and it was only a matter of time before she looked exactly like Tsunami. "Good morning, Tenchi, and happy birthday! I cooked all of your favourite foods for breakfast! I made pancakes and waffles and eggs and bacon for everyone!"

The room cheered and began eating their meals. Ryoko scooted closer to Tenchi, cooing, "I suppose I'll have to try to give you your present again tonight, huh, lover boy?"

Mayuka grinned. "Daddy, what kind of present is Aunt Ryoko gonna give you? It must be really cool if she has to give it to you alone!"

"I'm gonna be your new mommy, Mayuka! And maybe I'll bring you a little brother or sister for your birthday!"

"Stop feeding her lies, you demon woman! Mayuka, this creature is not your mother! Don't grow up to be anything like her!"

"It's okay, Aunt Aeka. I don't want Aunt Ryoko to be my mommy!"

Aeka laughed as Ryoko grimaced.

"I want Washu to be my mommy! Then I can be the daughter of the greatest scientific genius in the universe! Mwa hahahaha! And she's just my size, too, and then Aunt Ryoko will be my big sister instead!" 

It was everyone's turn to grimace.

Except, of course, Washu, who was proud that Mayuka had emulated her, down to the very last "ha!"

"Speaking of such a wonderful genius, Tenchi, I've pooled my intellect with Kiyone and Mihoshi's extra money to come up with the perfect birthday present for you!"

Warily, Tenchi repeated, "The perfect present?"

"Yes! I researched what most Terrans do on their 21st birthdays, and discovered that they all travel to a sort of Mecca!"

Again, he repeated. "Mecca?"

"Yes, a Mecca! A city of a thousand sins, where they must conquer each one to truly become an adult!"

Kiyone nodded. "And since Mihoshi and I just couldn't decide what to get you, we pooled our money to get us ten tickets to that very place!"

Mihoshi cheered, "Tenchi, we're going to Las Vegas!"

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

"How did they know?" Hanjuku asked himself. "How did the house of Jurai know that Seirya and my treaty were all a ruse?" He replayed the scene in his mind. That boy, flanked by Washu and her creation, the Jurai princesses, and that cop, had destroyed his plans. It had happened years ago, maybe decades, but the memories were fresh in his mind. 

That boy needed to be destroyed. "But how?" he wondered. The boy was definitely a descendant of the Juraians, so he was powerful. And with those particular women around him, his power was magnified. 

A smirk crossed his lips. He had just answered his own question. If those women made that Juraian powerful, then he would take them away, one by one.

He had years of grudge for someone to take, and that someone would be Tenchi Masaki. 

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Six young women accompanied a young man, a middle-aged man, an old man, and a toddler in the hotel lobby. The women wore sunglasses to cover their rainbow array of eye colours, and the toddler wore a hat to hide her violet hair. Pulling on the young man's sleeve, the toddler asked, "Daddy, is this the city of a thousand sins Aunt Washu talked about? It doesn't look that bad! Can I get a Mommy here? Why is that man dressed like a lady? I want ice cream! It's too hot! I have to pee!"

"Maybe it wasn't best to bring her here," Tenchi mused, scooping up Mayuka. "I'll take her to the bathroom, you guys just...don't kill anyone, alright?"

Something in Sasami's backpack began meowing. "Ryo-Ohki," she hissed, "try to stay quiet until we get to the room! Someone's gonna find out!" A sad "mew," was the reply.

A woman approached Aeka and flicked one of her ponytails. "Oh my gosh! Where on Earth did you get your hair done! I love it! I tried to do purple once, but, like, I had done it on top of blond hair so it like came out kind of orange with purple streaks but yours looks great how on Earth did you ever do that?"

Aeka was ready to tell her that nothing on Earth made her hair look like that, but Katsuhito stopped her. He used the phrase they had decided upon, in case anyone in Las Vegas thought their appearances or customs strange. "We are from Japan."

The girl nodded and gave an awe-filled "Oh..." As she explained to her friend as they walked away, "In Japan they're all really smart and they have all these gadgets, so of _course_ her hair's going to look great..."

Washu surveyed the scene. "You know, I thought a land of a thousand sins would look worse than this. Or maybe that's the illusion; it tricks you into letting down your guard! I must get some readings!"

Kiyone grabbed the scientist by the hand. "Little Washu! You can't summon your holotop here! That will definitely draw attention!"

She shot Kiyone a look. "Who are you mistaking me for?" Reaching into her crab-shaped carry-on, she pulled out an average looking laptop. "Don't you think I thought of that? Now I'm just a normal little girl, playing a computer game!" she laughed. "I'm so smart, it hurts!"

Kiyone smiled and stepped back. "Sorry for underestimating you, Little Washu. So, anyway, Mihoshi, what do you want to do first while we're here?" she asked to the empty space where her partner once stood. "Oh, mother-- Everyone, we've lost the most dangerous member of our troop."

No one had to look in her direction to know that that meant Mihoshi was missing.

"I'll go search the bar," Ryoko offered. 

"Oh no you won't!" Aeka screeched. "You'll do less searching than drinking!"

The demon shrugged her shoulders. "Well, Tenchi told us he wanted us to blend in, didn't he?"

"How could a monster like you ever blend in? Of course, maybe in this evil city, you'll feel right at home..."

"Why you..." Electricity sparkled from Ryoko's hands, and Aeka's headpiece began to glow, in preparation for a battle. 

"Stop!" a voice yelled. The women looked down to find Mayuka between them, obviously disapproving of their tiff. "Daddy said not to kill anyone! Both of you are grounded!" 

Both women held back snickers at the attempted authority displayed by the child, but remembered their anger toward each other, and each turned away.

"Now that that's over, shouldn't we be searching for Mihoshi?!" Kiyone pointed out. 

"Like I said, I'll search the bar."

"And I'm coming with you to make sure you don't get yourself into trouble!"

"I'll search the ladies' restroom!" Nobuyuki started.

"Hey guys, are you searching for me?" Seven heads turned towards a familiar squeaky voice. "I was making some new friends!" 

Mihoshi was surrounded by three women as tall as her. It took everyone a moment to realise that the women were as tall as her because they were all men in drag. 

"I have to go back with my friends, but it was nice meeting you!"

"Bye, girlfriend!"

"If we're ever in Japan, we'll look you up!"

"And here we thought you were doing something dangerous...come on, Mihoshi, let's get to our rooms," Tenchi sighed.

And so, four young women (Ryoko and Aeka being at the bar), a young man, a middle-aged man, an old man, and a toddler made their way to the rooms they would call home for the next week.

Mihoshi's cross-dressing friends waved goodbye as the group made their way into an elevator. The shortest, wearing a pink wig, pulled out an ordinary-looking cell phone. "Hanjuku, we have found them."

"So quickly? Excellent, Hitotsu. I want you, Subete, and Kakeru to separate him from those women, and turn them all against each other. Do you understand?"

"Of course, master. We will carry out your orders, starting now." Hitotsu disconnected the call and turned to his associates. "Alright, gentlemen, here's the plan. We're going to pick off all of those girls to get to the Prince, right?"

Subete and Kakeru nodded. "Right." 

"Now, two of the women have already separated themselves, so who wants to go after them?"

Kakeru raised his hand. "Ooh, ooh, me!"

"Alright, you turn them against each other, and Subete and I will follow the others. Any questions?"

"Just one, Hitotsu. Why are we dressed like this?"

Subete and Hitotsu traded glances. "We're blending in! The women will trust other women, right?"

"But I don't think other people are buying it. We look like men dressed as women..."

"Always the voice of dissension, Kakeru," Subete sighed, tossing back a lock from his turquoise wig. "We'll be fine. We look like perfect Terran women. Pshaw."

Kakeru shrugged. "Whatever suits you two. Personally, I think taking the male route works just as well. I will tell you how these two fare." He removed a white wig and tousled his black hair. "I'll call."

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

"Vodka. Leave the bottle."

"Um...just a water."

"Ooh. Can you handle such a strong drink, Princess?"

"Quiet, you monster! I like to keep my wits about me in this land of evil. I must protect Lord Tenchi in case something ensnares him, and he cannot escape."

The bartender gave the two women their drinks and walked away, shooting a strange look. 

"You keep using that 'land of evil' remark, Aeka. Relax. Enjoy yourself. You sound a little sexually frustrated."

Aeka turned a bright red. "I'll have you know that I am not sexually..." her volume changed to a whisper, "...sexually frustrated!"

Ryoko smiled, seeing that her teasing was going somewhere. "Oh really? Been using the Tenchi-Ken for other purposes?"

Aeka turned a darker red. 

"But then again, I don't think you'd even know where to put it, so never mind."

Aeka turned such a shade of purple, Ryoko thought she might match her hair. "Just because I am not a common...a common...**whore** like you, does not mean I am naïve! I am saving something special for the night when Lord Tenchi and I consummate our love." Her face returned to its normal hue, and a triumphant smile crossed her lips. 

She had expected Ryoko to retaliate with a mark about Tenchi, but her rival's face became hardened. "I am not a whore."

Trying to egg her on as the demon had done to her, Aeka pushed. "Oh, but aren't you so experienced? Who are you kidding? You're no virgin!"

A pause. "No. No, I'm not."

"Well, then. Do you even remember to whom you lost it? Or is he just another face to you? Was it even a he?"

Almost mechanically, Ryoko turned to Aeka. "I didn't lose it. I didn't give it. It was taken." She stood up. "I'm going to go find Tenchi before we start fighting and really raise suspicion."

Aeka bit her lip and returned to her glass of water, but not before noticing the heads that turned Ryoko's way. _That was callous, Aeka. You were not raised to behave like that._ She rested her head on her hand, the obvious appearing before her eyes. _If Kagato kidnapped her when she was young and under Miss Washu's care, and controlled her for hundreds of years, don't you think he'd at least _once_ try that with her? When you were fighting him on Souja, didn't he try that with you? _

"I should tell her I'm sorry," she whispered. "That was rather cruel, even for the two of us."

"Ah, let her be," a voice told her. Aeka looked up to see dark brown eyes and a mass of thick, black hair. "If my experience with women has taught me anything, it's that they need time to let off steam."

He reminded her so much of Tenchi, it was uncanny. "Excuse me, who are you?" she asked.

"My name is Ka-- uh, Cameron." 

Sensing he wasn't using his real name, she shook his hand and said, "Ryoko."

"Hello, Ryoko. What are you doing here alone?"

The real Ryoko's words echoed in her mind. "Just relaxing. Sometimes, there are so many men around me, it's nice just to be alone." She couldn't believe what she was saying; it was fun acting like she was someone else. "Why are you here alone?"

"Well, the same reason anyone else would come to Las Vegas, I would assume. To gamble and get laid!" he laughed.

She faked a laugh and began to excuse herself. Being someone else was fun until that someone else attracted people like this.

He grabbed her hand as she stood. "I apologise for my rudeness. Women today have become so forward, many like that. I really want a traditional girl. Please sit down. I promise not to make any more disgusting remarks like that. Here, I'll even pour you another one." Cameron took that monster's bottle of vodka and refilled Aeka's empty water glass.

Aeka sat on the stool and stared at her reflection in the clear liquid. Aeka the Princess. The Naïve Princess. So many rules, so many regulations. She couldn't do this, she couldn't do that. Here on Earth, she had learned to drop some of her snobbery and live like a normal girl, but the lessons she had been taught rang in her ears. Earth was light years from Jurai, and Las Vegas was hours away from Japan. This truly was a vacation where she could relax and enjoy herself with no punition.

She picked up the glass and swallowed a mouthful, feeling it burn on the way down her throat. "Thank you, Cameron. Tell me more about yourself."

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Tenchi had dressed in casual wear for the evening, and Kiyone and Mihoshi came out of their room wearing blouses and skirts. Washu and Sasami each came out of a room wearing nice dresses, and Ryoko floated through the door in a black cocktail dress. "Let's go gamble! Whoo!" she cried, throwing her arms around Tenchi.

The rest of the party, excepting Tenchi, cheered. Katsuhito and Nobuyuki had decided to stay back from the group, claiming gambling was aberrant, and besides, they had found some "interesting" movies they could order to the room. 

On the floor, it was a different matter. Tenchi presented his license as ID so he could get onto the floor, and Kiyone and Mihoshi presented fake American IDs Washu had created for them (though Mihoshi _did_ try to present her GP badge). Washu and Sasami weren't as lucky with their fakes. 

"Now, ladies," the guard patronized, "I'm sure at home you can pass for very lovely 14-year-olds, but here you have to be 21, okay? Why don't you go play in the swimming pool?"

"14?!" Washu shrieked as Sasami dragged her away. "Do you know how old I _am_, mister?"

The two girls stopped in the ladies' restroom. "Washu, we can't make a scene! We'll just have to go do something else!"

Washu sighed. "But I want to go gamble. I even left my computer back in the room so I could win fairly..."

Sasami put her hands on her hips. "Well, Little Washu, unless you're going to suddenly become 21, you have to find something better to do. I think I really will go take a swim."

"You could turn into Tsunami and go out there, you know."

"Washu, I am not going to become a goddess so I can go play nickel slots."

Sasami left.

The small redhead sighed. "I guess I'll have to do it, then. This stinks, but Las Vegas certainly is no place for a child. Argh."

A young girl in a purple dress walked into the stall farthest from the door and never came back out. Instead, a much more adult version of said girl emerged, fluffed her hair and adjusted her dress in the mirror, and headed towards the video poker.

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Ryo-Ohki pulled on the long-sleeved shirt and jeans she had brought along for the trip. Her family might accept her as is, but everyone else might think a furry woman who meowed was strange. Sasami told her so. 

Everyone had left her in the room, and she wanted to go outside and see the sights. And maybe find some carrots. She was hungry. 

Adjusting a baseball cap on her oddly-shaped head, she left the building. The first thing that drew her attention was a garden. Plants! That's where she could find carrots. She loved carrots. 

But there were no carrots on these plants. They were just big blocks of green. She started to lose herself in the shrubbery as the blocks became walls, leading her through a maze. 

Ryo-Ohki sat down to cry. She was lost forever, and would never see any of her friends again. She couldn't turn into a space ship and fly out, because everyone would think that was strange and Sasami would yell at her and Ryoko would be upset and gasp! what would Tenchi think?

Tenchi would tell her, "Get up, little Ryo-Ohki. You'll never find your way out if you just cry and give up!"

She nodded. "Miya!" Standing, she followed the wall into a clearing. This must be the centre of the maze; she was halfway through! 

The area mostly held various statues of extravagance. Naked marble people eating grapes, and women riding dolphins. In the centre, orange caught the girl's eye. 

A flowering shrub, growing Tiger Lilies, had been cut and the flowers arranged so that the bush was in the shape of a resting tiger. Great care had gone into the plant, and Ryo-Ohki fell in love with it.

Literally.

"Meow..." she said in awe. It was so orange and bright, not like carrots, but still beautiful. And it looked like a cat, like her. Looking to see if anyone was around, she hopped up to the bush. "Miya!" she greeted. She removed her cap, letting her blue and brown hair down, and chatted with the silent creature. Mostly she talked about carrots. She liked carrots a lot. But he was much prettier than any carrot she had seen. But not as pretty as Tenchi. Tenchi was very pretty, that's why Aeka and Ryoko fought over him all the time. Ryoko was pretty, too, and she thought of her as a big sister. She wished she looked more like Ryoko when she was in human form. Ryoko was pretty, and not so furry. 

Sounds of talking alerted Ryo-Ohki that others were in the maze. She put her cap back on and told the tiger that she had better be going, but she would be back soon. In other words, "Miya!"

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

"You're kidding! You robbed a bank to come here! That's...wild!"

Aeka smiled and shrugged, the effects of the vodka taking their toll on her. "Well, I am one pretty wild girl, you know. I love a good time more than anything."

"Well, Ryoko, if you do love a good time, would you like to come with me? The bar will be closing soon," Cameron asked, sliding an arm over her shoulders. 

Aeka was drunk, but she knew that a night with this man was not what she wanted, no matter how much he resembled her beloved. "No thank you. I've got someone waiting for me."

"Why is he waiting for you? Why isn't he with you now?"

"Well, because...because he's out with our friends right now. They're out celebrating his birthday."

"Your friends?" Cameron raised a doubtful eyebrow. "Like the woman you fought with when you first came in? I don't call people like that friends, Ryoko."

"Well, I...I do! And I have to go join them now. Good night, Cameron." The Princess bowed and left the bar. 

The dark-haired man smiled. _Well, well, well, Princess Aeka. It seems you want to be just like your infamous rival. I think I can help you there._ He snapped his fingers, and for a moment, Aeka felt a tingle over her entire body. She assumed it was another alcoholic effect, but it made the little hairs on the back of her neck stand straight up.

And no one, not even her, noticed those little hairs had turned light blue.

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

"Tenchi, all these cute little wedding chapels need cute little brides and grooms...Let's get married, huh?"

"Ryoko, I am not marrying you right now."

"'Right now'? Does that mean later? You know, I _still_ haven't given you my present..."

"Little Ryoko, Lord Tenchi is not interested in anything like that right now. Why don't you go play roulette, hmm?"

Ryoko turned around with a sarcastic remark for her mother when she stopped short. "Oh, Little Washu, how did you get out he--" Tenchi began to ask when he stopped speaking, too. "Washu, you, uh...you decided to grow up today, huh?" he said, trying to stop his nosebleed. 

"Washu, what do you think you're doing? If you're trying to intrude on me and my Tenchi, then you can just go--"

"Oh, my little one. Do you think I would interrupt true love?"

Ryoko furrowed her brow. "Yes."

Washu suddenly appeared on Tenchi's other arm. "Well, you're wrong. But since we don't know with whom Tenchi is truly in love, then I can interrupt all I want! Where do you want to go, dear Tenchi?"

"Somewhere quiet," he muttered. 

"Ooh! Hear that, _Mom_? He wants to go somewhere where he and I can be alone."

"I didn't say that," he sighed.

"Drinks anyone?" a large waitress with turquoise hair asked. "Complimentary for visiting our lovely casino!"

Tenchi downed three martinis. "Thank you. I needed that."

"Don't mention it," she laughed, winking at him.

"Hey! Stay away from my Tenchi, you little--!" Ryoko's tirade was cut off when Washu handed her a daiquiri.

"No scenes."

Ryoko threw back the drink like it was water. "Mmm...that was great. Hey!" When she looked back to Washu and Tenchi, they were gone. She threw down the glass and screamed, "WASHUUU!" She opened her mental link with the scientist to find that the other woman had closed it. 

The woman finally understood why others committed matricide.

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Tenchi hiccupped. Why was he so woozy? He had had plenty of sake in his life, but he couldn't handle a few martinis? What was in these American drinks?

"Are you okay, my Tenchi?" Washu cooed. 

"Yeah...I'm, uh, I'm fine," he replied, rubbing between his eyes. "I just feel kinda thirsty."

Washu grabbed two more martinis from the same passing waitress. "Here you go. One for me and one for you." 

They each downed a drink and then pulled the handles on side-by-side slot machines. "I haven't won anything yet. How about you, Little Washu?"

"Nope. And I'm not so little anymore, or have you forgotten?"

Tenchi blushed. "No, I didn't forget. You sure look pretty right now, Miss Washu."

Washu pulled out a large semi-automatic weapon and pointed it at Tenchi's head. "Even if you're drunk, you should remember not to call me 'Miss'!"

He stammered out his response. "Sorry Li-, er Mi-, er, uh, you!"

Washu hiccupped. What was happening? She wasn't supposed to lose her wits like this! "As you put it, Tenchi, you sure look pretty, yourself." 

"Thanks, Washu. Well, should we move on?"

"Yeah, let's go."

They each found themselves grabbing a drink from the turquoise-coiffed waitress as she passed again. Purely inebriated, the two sauntered towards what attracted them like bugs: neon lights.

"Tenchi, it's so cute! It's a little wedding chapel!" Washu sighed, leaning against the shorter man. "I miss being married. I miss being a Mommy and coming home to someone every day. I'm so alone."

"Don't feel bad, Washu! I know what'll make you feel a whole lot better!" Tenchi replied, leaning on her just as much. "Let's get married!"

Washu stumbled forward, giggling. The motion made Tenchi drop to the floor. "Oh, my Tenchi! I thought you'd never ask! But I can't go dressed like thi-- oh, who am I kidding, I can't wear white anyway! We're gonna get married!" she cheered. 

The waitress walked past with two flutes of wine, which the soon-to-be-married couple scooped away from her. Arm in arm, they attempted to skip into the chapel, but finding that too difficult, broke into a run.

Subete chuckled, flicking a lock of turquoise out of his face. "Mission accomplished. These silly humans should know how much hypnotic hallucinogens they can handle before attempting to drink. Oh well, their fault." He wandered into a crowd and disappeared as a sanctioned judge dressed as Elvis pronounced a 20,000 year old scientist Washu Masaki.

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Sasami flipped on the TV and combed through her wet hair. The swim had been refreshing, and probably much more enjoyable than gambling, though she really did wish she could have been with Tenchi and their friends. Oh well, these were the facts of life. Besides, she wanted to save money, not blow it all on those "one-armed bandits" she kept hearing about. 

_That's not what you really feel, Princess Tsunami._

Her comb instantly tangled in her hair as she looked around for the voice. "Who said that? Who's here?"

_Why, Tsunami, I'm you talking. Don't you recognise your own voice?_

"This is a trick! Who are you? Show yourself!"

_Alright then, I'm behind you._

The Princess spun around to see Tsunami. "No, this isn't right. I'm Princess Sasami; I'm not Tsunami yet. And Tsunami would never play a trick like this on me."

_You must be mistaken; Princess Sasami is dead._

Sasami's eyes widened at the statement. No, it wasn't true. Aeka had told her that she really was Sasami. She was her little sister. What had happened long ago was little more than...than an incident.

_You know it is the truth. Sasami is dead, and you are really Tsunami. You've just kept yourself in denial, afraid to take the reigns of godhood. _

"No! You're another enemy! I won't listen to your lies!" Sasami clasped her hands over her ears, but the apparition of Tsunami fizzled into dust. 

That dust flew into Sasami's nose and mouth.

_You can't stop the musings of your own mind, Tsunami. You were very angry tonight. You _are_ very angry tonight. Everyone treats you like dirt, when they should kiss your feet and bring you offerings! They tell you to cook, and wash dishes. Now, for this celebration, they leave you alone! And during all of this, they still call you by that common name, even knowing you are an omnipotent goddess!_

"No, I'm not angry! I wasn't allowed to go with them because...because of a law. If there are no laws, civilization would crumble. Besides, this is a land of sins, and Tenchi has to conquer them, not me!"

_But you want to help him; you're the only one who _can_ help him. You are Tsunami. But first express your anger. It's okay to feel anger, it's like any other emotion. It's like happiness, and sadness, and love._

Sasami let the hands off of her ears. "Love?"

_Yes, love. But in order for there to be love, there must be anger. Don't you always hear grandfather speak of balance? Everyone out in the world is full of love. This is bad; you must balance that with anger. Feel your anger, Tsunami. Centre it and use it._

"No, this is wrong."

_Feel your anger._

"I have to be kind to others."

_And you're angry they aren't kind in return._

"No, I..."

_You can't think of a retort, can you? It's because you know I speak the truth. _

Sasami wavered for just that one moment, and in that moment passed out as the ghost took complete control of her mind and body. 

When her eyes opened again, they had lost all of their kindness. She smirked, looking at herself in the mirror. "No, this underdeveloped body will never do." In a flash of light that could best be described as smoke and mirrors, Tsunami appeared. "Much better. Now to find something to wear."

The naked Tsunami floated through her door, across the hall, and into Ryoko and Washu's room. She didn't offer so much as a glance in Nobuyuki's direction, who had frozen to the spot, holding a full ice bucket. When she floated past him again, she was dressed in the most daring dress Ryoko owned, leaving little to the imagination. Well, barely more than Nobuyuki's imagination was cranking out. 

She went to the end of the hallway, and passed through the door to the fire escape. There, a man with velvety blue hair stood, waiting for her. "I am here to do your bidding, Hitotsu. What do you ask of me?"

Hitotsu, out of his feminine disguise, ran a hand down Tsunami's body. "Don't tempt me: I may ask too much of you."

"There is no such thing, master. I have kidnapped this girl's body so that I may carry out whatever mission you like."

"Again, you tempt me, Mau. My interests will have to wait until later, however. Right now, you must go find a way to drive the Juraian's women away from him, understand?"

"It is done, Master Hitotsu." Tsunami disappeared.

"No, Mau. It is just beginning."

( ( ( ( ( ( | ) ) ) ) ) ) 

Misaki sat straight up in bed. "Sasami?" she cried.

Funaho rubbed her eyes, slowly becoming conscious. "Sasami? What's she doing here?"

Misaki was on the verge of hysterics. "No! Something's happened to Sasami! She...something bad has gotten to her! I'm frightened! We--"

Funaho threw a hand over her sister's mouth. "Shh! Azusa will hear us, and find out you've been sleeping in here with me!" she whispered.

"What's so bad about that? We're legally considered sisters, so it's not weird or anything..."

She swallowed. Why was she so nervous? Azusa would never suspect that they would...her mind blushed at the thoughts that sprang to her mind. Funaho also wondered why she blushed. Those thoughts had almost been making regular appearances in her dreams.

"Well, he might...oh, forget it, what about Sasami? Is Aeka okay? Yosho?"

"We have to go to Earth again, Funaho! I have to find out what happened to my baby!"

Funaho understood the urgency in her voice. It was a mother's love. She nodded and got out of bed, taking off her nightgown and changing into regular clothes. Misaki was a bit slower in performing the same actions, because her eyes were fixated on her "sister." Funaho had a much different body shape than Misaki. Her joints seemed softer, and her whole body just more round than Misaki's angular form. She was more...more...well, more Earthy. And she was really warm. Misaki felt so safe in Funaho's arms.

"What's taking you so long, Misaki?"

"Uh...nothing, sorry. Who should wake up Azusa?"

"No one. We're leaving without him."

"But--"

"No buts, Misaki. These are our children; we'll handle it."

Misaki nodded, and the women left the room, holding each other's hand.


End file.
